By Tom Chambers • 8:14 a.m. April 21, 2009 • 0 Comments • 0 Trackbacks
Tags: hollyweird, star wars
SAVE YOUR KIDS FROM ‘STAR WARS!’ • ‘One bar scene features “space” drinking, smoking, and shady characters, resulting in the loss of one character’s limb and the shooting death of another.’ Ridiculous.
YES, THEY REALLY ARE ‘DEATH PANELS’ • Tragic. What bureaucratic ‘guidelines’ get you.
KWANZAA-ING SEPT. 11 • No ‘War on Terror,’ No ‘Merry Christmas.’
TACTICAL BACON • With a 10-year shelf life, perfect for that bunker, earthquake kit, dorm room or Mormon storage facility. Oh, and it’s BACON!
SO, BUSH VOLUNTEERED TO FLY IN VIETNAM? • More egg on Dan Rather’s face.
I’LL SEE YOUR $9 TRILLION, AND RAISE YOU … • CBO’s ‘optimistic’ projection assumes federal spending is going to fall between now and 2012.
YEAH, BUT WOULD WE PROSECUTE THE CIA OPERATIVES THAT TORTURED THEM? • Best way to deal with a zombie attack? Act swiftly and aggressively to eliminate the threat.
WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? And let’s not even get started with the ‘40 acres and a mule’ promise.
DON’T KILL A WHORE WITH FAKE BOOBS • And think you’re gonna get away with it.
‘WE ALL AGREE THAT THE SYSTEM IS IMPLODING’ • In Canada. The answer? ‘Doctors need to develop a plan to cure it.’
THERE’S A REASON I DON’T DRUNK TEXT IN CHINA • Well, in addition to not, you know, being in China.
HOPE AND CHANGE GOES LIMP AGAIN • Apparently, not as many got it on on Election Night as thought (or maybe they just killed their babies at Planned Parenthood).
