Outta control | rockmycar

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Outta control

By Tom Chambers • 4:37 a.m. Sept. 12, 2007 • 0 Comments • 0 Trackbacks

Tags: life

Man, do I hate people right now.

Pull me this way … pull me that way … ask for something … don’t pay attention when it’s delivered … make stupid assumptions … suck the life out of everything … blame me for your own stupidity …

Not to rant too much, but c’mon guys. Pull it together. I’m a pretty easy guy to get along with, and now you’re just pissing me off.

It’s not my fault you’re unhappy, stupid, lack any real talent, have no self esteem or are just too lazy to figure things out for yourself.

So put your ephemeral hissy fits away and can the guilt trips. Honestly, you’ve got to be kidding me right now.

Frankly, there’s only about two of you I even want to talk to — and I’m considering keeping it that way.

Now that that’s out, we’ll return to our regularly-scheduled programming.

Don’t just sit there, say something!

ON THE SIDE

YES, THEY REALLY ARE ‘DEATH PANELS’ • Tragic. What bureaucratic ‘guidelines’ get you.

KWANZAA-ING SEPT. 11 • No ‘War on Terror,’ No ‘Merry Christmas.’

TACTICAL BACON • With a 10-year shelf life, perfect for that bunker, earthquake kit, dorm room or Mormon storage facility. Oh, and it’s BACON!

SO, BUSH VOLUNTEERED TO FLY IN VIETNAM? • More egg on Dan Rather’s face.

I’LL SEE YOUR $9 TRILLION, AND RAISE YOU … • CBO’s ‘optimistic’ projection assumes federal spending is going to fall between now and 2012.

YEAH, BUT WOULD WE PROSECUTE THE CIA OPERATIVES THAT TORTURED THEM? • Best way to deal with a zombie attack? Act swiftly and aggressively to eliminate the threat.

WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? And let’s not even get started with the ’40 acres and a mule’ promise.

DON’T KILL A WHORE WITH FAKE BOOBS • And think you’re gonna get away with it.

‘WE ALL AGREE THAT THE SYSTEM IS IMPLODING’ • In Canada. The answer? ‘Doctors need to develop a plan to cure it.’

THERE’S A REASON I DON’T DRUNK TEXT IN CHINA • Well, in addition to not, you know, being in China.

HOPE AND CHANGE GOES LIMP AGAIN • Apparently, not as many got it on on Election Night as thought (or maybe they just killed their babies at Planned Parenthood).

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